tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 28, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
[ applause ] >> jimmy: very nice. thank you. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. thank you for coming to visit me at my workplace. hey, um, i don't know if you know, but i know a lot of you are here on vacation, but today is take your kid to workday. it's really the most uncomfortable day of the year for the adult film industry. take your kid to workday is a great opportunity to teach your children why you come home miserable every night. i brought my daughter, jane, to work with me today. and she wasn't good at it. she's almost two. the jokes she writes are terrible. they really should schedule take your daughter to workday with girl scouts cookie day. it's important to let them come can to our jobs so they can see where we spend all day looking at instagram and checking
it's also nfl draft day. it's happening right now. it's a big deal. this is where we get to find out how the next great papa john's spokesperson will be. and it's exciting for us in l.a. because we have a football team here after 20 years with no teams, we now have -- we reclaimed the l.a. rams, and the rams had the first pick tonight. >> with the first pick in the 2016 nfl draft, the los angeles rams select jared goff, quarterback, california. >> jimmy: that's jared goff. looks a little bit like ryan gosling. we're going to talk to him live in a few minutes. he's a millionaire now just like that. just like jarod from the jewelry store. half an hour ago he was a college student with no money. miley cyrus, by the way, has a new tattoo.
she shared a photo on instagram yesterday. look at it. she posted what she described as a tattoo of jupiter the planet. the only problem is if you zoom in you see that is not jupiter. that's saturn, and they're mixing up the planets. they say it's one of the side effects of being hit in the head with a wrecking ball, but i don't know why. i would put so much thought into something i had permanently put on my body. maybe it had something to do with mercury being in retro grade. it's in retro grade. i always thought this was something yoga teachers made up to explain a parking ticket. people who believe say you shouldn't make any big decisions when america vi in retro grade. a good way to know whether or not to break up with someone is
mercury is in retro grade. and i'll tell you something else. it's not even really in retro grade. it just looks like it is. it's an optical illusion. it doesn't mean anything. it's like thes a troll ji version of making america great again. ted cruz, yesterday he announced carly fiorina will be his running mate. that strategy appears to be working because today he got a major endorsement from a former speaker of the house. >> the former of the speaker house still very influential in d.c. told a group of students at stanford that cruz is, quote, lucifer in the flesh. i have democratic friends and republican friends. i get along with almost everyone, but i've never worked with a more miserable son of an expletive in my life. >> maybe that wasn't an endorsement. i think he's trying to say their
the media jumps on it and they ran right to ted cruz and asked him to respond which he did. >> let me reveal a little bit about how washington operates. boehner's comments, he said something like he's the worst sob i've ever worked with, something like that. >> lucifer in the flesh. >> well, there was that too. >> jimmy: yeah. sorry i neglected to mention i was lucifer. call me lu for short. the white house after a number of incidents is getting a taller fence. and they're making mexico pay for it, too. there have been a number of fence bumpers at the white house so the secret service is planning to raise the fence by five feet and then recruit a brotherhood called the night's watch to pledge their lives to preventing anyone from getting over it. they say they'll begin building the fence in 2018.
plan to build a fence? maybe there wouldn't be so many fence jumpers in the first place if michelle obama didn't plant so much delicious kale in the garden. congress did something this week which is big. congress passed a bill to declare the american bison national mammal of the united states. so finally republicans and democrats have managed to reach across the aisle to pass a meaningless piece of legislation. i don't know. and i think if you're going to choose a national mammal, it should be people. i mean, we run this place. or people is too broad. or this should be our national mammal if it needs to be more specific. busey. should the national mammal be something they serve at ted's montana grill? it would be like having a kentucky fried eagle franchise.
[ laughter. >> jimmy: does mexico have a national mammal or bird? >> yeah, the eagle. yeah. >> jimmy: that's our national bird. >> guillermo: that's mexico too. >> jimmy: what do you mean? it can't be both. this eagle is a real whore. come up here and be the national bird and fly down there. unbelievable. okay, it's thursday night. that means we have a tradition on thursday nightings. it's time to bleep and blur whether the moments need it or not. this week in "unnecessary censorship." enjoy. >> i believe ted cruz is the man to lead that fight. and i am prepared to [ bleep ] his [ bleep ] and give this everything i have. >> today mom is out [ bleep ]. dad is out [ bleep ]. the kids are out [ bleep ]. >> one thing i do every morning, i pray.
[ bleep ]. >> why do you support donald trump? >> he's a [ bleep ] face. >> i'll be honest. i'm so happy. i really want to [ bleep ] hillary. i do. i want to [ bleep ] her. >> donald trump has been [ bleep ] john boehner. >> when i do pushups at home. i have do dogs their little [ bleep ]s are many any face. >> miss piggy and kermt broke up. >> maybe he was tired of her [ bleep ] in her mouth. >> today is elle [ bleep ] day? >> what's that? >> it won't jump out or make your face dirty. >> promise? >> i promise. [ screaming ] [ laughing ] >> when we come back we have -- we'll talk to the new los
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the new chase freedom unlimited card earns you unlimited 1.5% cash back on everything you buy. that's 1.5% cash back on whatever these billboards are selling. what are they selling? the products not so subtly placed in this movie - 1.5% cash back. shhhh! all the stuff promoted in your social feed - 1.5% cash back. the cash back is unlimited and you can spend it on anything. like, whatever the next ad is selling. get the new chase freedom unlimited card. ugh, celebrity endorsements are the worst. >> jimmy: tonight on the show we have music from nick jonas and
it is nfl draft night. it's become not only a television event but a real fashion showcase over the past few years. this is from tonight, and look at some of these outfits these guys have on. it's like they know joan rivers isn't around to make fun of them. this is the best of all. now that he's been drafted, he can afford the rest of the shirt, i guess. the los angeles rams had the first pick. they made a good decision and selected a football, quarterback jared goff from the university of california berkeley. he's joining us live right now. let's go to the wall of america. hi. >> how are you? >> jimmy: that's happening. how are you? >> i'm well. >> jimmy: are you happy to be number one? >> happy and relieved and ready to get to work. >> jimmy: have you ever worn a handkerchief in your pocket before?
>> jimmy: i saw your mom with you. that's fun. did your mom say you'd better buy me something as soon as you sign that contract? >> no. i probably will, though. >> jimmy: when you get drafted they give you a baseball hat to wear. they should really give you a helmet, shouldn't they? >> they should. you wouldn't be able to see our face. >> jimmy: i notice you didn't wear a crazy suit. you look spiffy. did you ever consider something like from the bozo collection? >> no. i'm a pretty standard guy. a nice navy suit. i'm happy with it. >> jimmy: you look good. it must be weird to see these guys dressed in purple tuxedos with polka dot shoes knowing these will be the same guys that will try to take your head off. >> they look good, though. >> jimmy: did you have any idea the rams were going to pick you number one?
no formal indication. >> jimmy: you get a little tip? >> no. i had a little bit information. still wasn't for sure. >> jimmy: are you excited about moving to l.a.? >> very excited. >> jimmy: do you have a place yet? should we go through craigslist? >> sure. >> jimmy: have you thought about your first irresponsible purchase with the new money? >> i think i'm going to get a nice massage chair. >> jimmy: really? >> useful for more than a month. >> jimmy: a sharper image catalog, immediately. >> exactly. >> jimmy: what was your major at cal? >> sociology. >> jimmy: wow. so the world lost a potentially great sociologist. >> it's a bummer. >> jimmy: do you have any interest in being the bachelor while you're here? none at all, huh? >> no.
can we get you a kardashian or something like that? >> no girlfriend. >> jimmy: we really want you to be happy while you're here. >> i appreciate it. >> jimmy: do you have a nickname, something that we can rally around like koebe is the black maum baa. do you have anything? >> i don't think. i'll leave it to you. >> jimmy: good. i have a list. i spent a lot of time on this today. >> great. >> jimmy: i took the liberty. at the end you can tell me which one jumps out at you. okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: how about jgoff. american goffic. >> never heard that. >> jimmy: this one is good for l.a. david hasselgoff. turn your head and goff? kathie lee goffard.
passing. >> i like that one. >> jimmy: goffic girl. do you watch game of throwns? >> i don't. >> jimmy: golfff the magic dragon. >> i like that one. >> jimmy: when we get you on the field, maybe there will be something that comes to mind. >> i'm sure there will be. >> jimmy: i don't want to put you on the spot. i don't like to do that to people, but i want to ask will you goornuarantee a ram's superbole victory? >> i'm going to work as hard as i can, and hopefully we can do big things. >> jimmy: we've had a hard time sportswise. it's going to be great. i'm glad you're coming to l.a. i wish you the best of luck. stay healthy and learn all that stuff these guys need to learn. write it on your hand if you have to, and we'll see you coming up at the new football season. that's jared goff.
>> jimmy: welcome to l.a. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it seems good, right? seems like a nice kid. all right. anyway, and i think this is -- by the way, after the subway thing, america could use a good jarod to rally around, right? [ applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show we have music from nick jonas and tove lo chris hardwick is here and we'll be right back with chadwick boseman. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy
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and then later this album is called "last year was complicated." it comes out june 10th nick jonas featuring tove lo from the samsung outdoor stage. you can see nick this summer on the "future now" tour with demi lovato. >> jimmy: next week we will have visits from julie bowen, rob lowe, dr. oz, emily deschanel, adam carolla, chloe bennet from "agents of shield." we will hear music from the avett brothers, florida georgia line, bebe rexha and the return of mash-up monday with "of monsters and men at work" that's a combo of two bands "of monsters and men" and colin hay of "men at work." >> jimmy: you know our first guest from "42." he played jackie robinson and in "get on up" he played james brown. next up he plays a different kind of hero, black panther, in "captain america: civil war." it opens in theaters a week from
chadwick boseman. [ applause ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you were in the movie "draft day". are you following the nfl draft? >> i'm trying to follow it, but the internet is kind of sketchy in here. >> jimmy: i see. we haven't gotten internet yet. what's your team? >> i saw the first pick, and i saw that elliot went to dallas. we wanted him on the giants. >> jimmy: you didn't get him. >> we didn't get him. >> jimmy: you never know. sometimes they trade people around. as we sit here, maybe everything got flipped around but probably not. >> we need somebody on the offensive line. >> jimmy: your parents are here, i'm told.
there's mom and dad. [ applause ] your parents were here last time you were here, right? >> yeah. i think they like your show. >> jimmy: do your parents come with you everywhere you go? >> not everywhere, but if i can bring them and get any dad to come, my mom would come everywhere. if i could get my gaddad, they would go everywhere. >> jimmy: you have a huge family, right? >> huge. >> jimmy: how many cousins do you have? >> my first cousins on one side, 41, 42 of us in all. >> jimmy: on one side? >> 42. >> jimmy: how about that. on one side. how many on the other side? >> i think it's 23, something like that. >> jimmy: do you know them all? >> of course. >> jimmy: let's name them go through them all. >> no. you want to take up your whole segment. >> jimmy: let's see how many you name.
giving dinner. >> jimmy: everyone get together for thanks giving? >> there have been times when everybody is together. >> jimmy: who tookscooks for all those people? >> my mom and her sisters, it would probably cover this whole stage. >> jimmy: you need turkeys in nine different houses. >> everybody cooks and brings their best dish. >> jimmy: there are more bosemans in your house than in montana. [ laughter ] that's something else. >> probably so. >> jimmy: by the way, i saw the movie, "captain america: civil war." it's fantastic. have you seen it yet? >> of course. >> jimmy: it's unbelievable. >> i think it's one of the best superhero movies ever made, if not the best. >> jimmy: they announced it next door, actually, had a big event and announced you got the part. how far in advance was that of the shooting of the movie itself?
>> jimmy: almost a year beforehand? but the fans know, and of course, they start treating you as black panther right off the bat. >> absolutely. as a matter of fact, some of the fan boys and girls, they somehow have some of them have some prophetic powers, i guess. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> there's this one guy in australia. i was filming there and i was onset, and this guy was doing security. his name is charles carter. >> jimmy: what movie? >> this was "gods of egypt". >> jimmy: how long ago? >> probably a year before. so he has, you know, them put his first issue of black panther, the original 1977 the first black panther comic book in my trailer and writes a note
going to be black panther out of nowhere. >> jimmy: at that time was that on your radar? >> it was something i wanted. as an actor you walk around saying i could do this or this type of movie, this type of story. so black panther was on my radar as a dream, as something like that would be cool to do and i'm a fan of it, but not like, you know, where it would sort of take over your consciousness as something that you actually are going to do until he did that. >> jimmy: and that's probably a valuable comic book, right? >> i think it's about $600 right now. >> jimmy: did you sell it immediately? >> absolutely. i went on -- at that time, i think it was 100. now it's up to $600 because of the movie. >> jimmy: right. >> i sold it right away. i'm kidding. >> jimmy: have you been in touch with this security guard? >> no. charles carter wherever you are, you were right.
>> jimmy: wow. that's pretty great. >> yeah. and the other strange thing -- >> jimmy: maybe your cousins can find them. >> i got one cousin who tries to sell everyonething. every time i come home he's like can you sign this. the other thing thing about that premonition or prophesy is when they called me i was in zurich, and i had to actually get off the red carpet and get in the car and ride around because marvel is secret about everything. have a private conversation and the driver stops in front of this antique shop and in the front window there was all these panthers in the window. >> jimmy: wow. >> i'm -- >> jimmy: you might be a real superhero. >> i might be.
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>> we're about to find out. >> jimmy: chadwick boseman! "captain america: civil war" opens in theaters a week from tomorrow. are you even in that scene, by the way? [ laughter ] how do we know that's you in there? >> who told you that? donny is like i'm not there. >> jimmy: i don't know. why would you be if you can get a stunt man to do that stuff? >> the stunt men have to fight
>> jimmy: i see. so you are in the suit? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's you doing all the tricks? do some for us right now. >> i don't want to ruin it. >> jimmy: you want to save it for the movie when it comes out. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what is more difficult, training to play jackie robinson or james brown or black panther? >> you know what? i think they're all just different. >> jimmy: i would think james brown would be the hardest. >> that's where i'm going. james brown, i think people don't really realize how complicated the dance steps are, and the amount of stamina that you have to have to sing, direct a band, have his intensity, because he's just so much energy. you can be tired inside the suit. you can't be tired when you're singing a song. >> jimmy: >> reporter:or you can send
not that you did but you can. your character is from wakonda. it's a fictional country. how do you decide on the accent? you do have an sk sent in the movie. >> what i did for this particular role is you know how comedians, how you'll do a small comedy club before you do the big show? >> jimmy: right. >> i did an independent film called "message from the king". i played a south african coming to l.a. a fish out of water story. i used that as my small comedy club conference. >> jimmy: i see. >> to find my dialect coach and find my base for an authentic african dialect. so i had an accent in that, and sort of just built off of it with that dialect and that coach.
it's near wisconsin. you could have gone in with a cheese head accent. a different choice. especially for the first movie. the movie is great, and congratulations. you're going to have your own movie black panther movie of your own, correct? >> yes. directed by ryan kugler. it's great. >> jimmy: chadwick boseman! "captain america: civil war" opens in theaters a week from tomorrow. we'll be right back with chris hardwick. unlimited data from at&t means you can stream it all. like that anthony michael hall movie where he fights with the girl. the one where he gets rejected by the girl. even stream the one where he creates the girl. with unlimited data, you can stream all the anthony michael hall movies you want. i wonder what he's up to these days maybe he's shopping in an at&t store?
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>> jimmy: hello. can i tell you i appreciate the speedy manner in which you got out here. >> i know how to get it done, man. it's fun to not have to host a show. i get to come out and you have to drive. it's kind of nice. chadwick boseman, civil war is awesome. >> jimmy: you saw it? >> of course. >> jimmy: you're really into superheros and sci fi, and by the way, and you got engaged. you really beat the nerd curse. >> i got a lady. yeah. >> jimmy: will she allow you to keep your action figures? is that going in the garbage? >> no. that's what's great. we have the exact same tastes. we're kind of merging our collections of toys and weird victorian tax dermy. it's victorian gentleman serial killer.
>> jimmy: she had some of this stuff and now it's like a weird museum in your house? >> yeah. i'll get presents she's like i bought this thing at an auction. i'll come home and it's one of the original gremlins designed by rick baker in our house. >> jimmy: where does that go? >> so i put a ring on that. that's when you know. that's why i don't understand when people go yeah, you know, she's making me get a man cave to put my dumb crap. what if you just found someone who liked the same plp blp[ bleep ] you like? >> jimmy: it's hard. women aren't into that kind of stuff as much. >> in my world they are. >> jimmy: as far as the wedding, are you involved in the planning of the wedding. is that the sort of thing you do? >> she was like don't worry about the planning. you just show up to the wedding.
said i want weird fun stuff. on board with that stuff too. our save the date card, i have a picture of it. she wanted to do a walking dead thing. here's our save the date card. >> jimmy: you guys aren't kidding around. >> no. and then she said i found a way to have a cake designed, a wedding cake where the front looks like a cake and the back is the front of the tartis. so that's going to happen, and then she said we should have zombie-like bartenders and servers, and to the guy who does the effects for the walking dead is doing it as a wedding present. it's amazing. best wedding ever. >> jimmy: have you thought about this? what if a real zombie wanders in? >> you'd never know. it's weird. i host talking dead which is after the walking dead, and i've realized that when people don't like stuff on walking dead, i'm
and it used to bother me. now i'm like i am now the complaint desk for walking dead. i'm like if walking dead were a department store, i would be the desk that someone comes and says i don't appreciate this at all. >> jimmy: there's no reason to blame you for it. >> i'm just the guy afterwards. >> jimmy: this wedding sounds like a comicon. is it going to be romantic at all? >> of course it's romantic. it's going to be romantic and sexy and superheroey and zombieish. i invited you. >> jimmy: i didn't get a save the date, did i? >> this is for you. >> jimmy: thanks. i will come to that. by the way, i don't know if people notice the last name. here's a hearse of the hearse family.
an audible gasp from the audience. her family is so nice. every once in a while, we were having dinner one night and we were talking next to a guy and i said who is that and she said that's my friend justin. his grandparents are the reason there are bananas in the country? there's a person who brought bananas? >> jimmy: they should be celebrated, whoever that person was. >> exactly. >> jimmy: even you probably don't remember who that person was. >> i have no idea, but we're constantly, it's like who's that? that's april. her grandparents invented milk. >> i thought that came from cows. well, that's what they tell poor people. i didn't grow up on that side. my family is super red neck, my dad's family. >> jimmy: your dad was a professional bowler. my dad was a big fan of yours. a bowling family, the hearse family. a little bit different. >> it's like her great
empire and a castle. my grandfather made bathtub gin. blue bloods and red necks coming together. >> jimmy: your special is so well done. i want to say something. i know you don't know about this. we sent out a little blushrb about the guests, and this was the blurb about you. chris hardwick promoting his special. he lost his virginity to a blow up doll in high school. this is the one fact that they have chose ton share about you. >> for the first question is does it count. does that count? >> jimmy: i don't think it does. >> i feel like it does. >> jimmy: you do? okay. >> i feel like a couple dudes nodding agree with me. >> jimmy: that's a true story? >> it is a true story, and it was my friend, mike, a couple years ago came on a pod cast. >> jimmy: i think of him as my friend. >> we'll share. on the weekends.
football with him and never show up. that was very real to one guy. oh, my god, totally happened to me. but mike said, you know, i go to this place where i'm uncomfortable and that's where i write comedy from. so my new special is probably things i shouldn't say out loud. >> jimmy: i noted that and the name made sense. do you keep in touch with the blow up doll? >> you mean emily? sure. >> jimmy: we have a surprise for you, chris. >> you didn't. >> jimmy: this is very exciting. she's put on a few pounds, but bring her in. here she is. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "chris hardwick: funcomfortable" premieres saturday night at 10 on comedy
>> jimmy: i'd like to thank chadwick boseman, chris hardwick, robert randolph, jared goff and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline' is next but first, his album "last year was complicated" comes out on june 10th, here with the song "close" with some help from tove lo, nick jonas! [ cheers and applause ] oh damn oh damn oh damn i'm so perplexed with just one breath i'm locked in oh damn oh damn oh damn i'm so perplexed on that it's almost shocking i know i know you know
your mind your soul your body yeah they won't they won't they won't be careful but i guess that you don't know me 'cause if i want you and i want you babe ain't going backwards won't ask for space 'cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get too close ooh ooh ohh oh so close ooh ooh ooh i want you close ooh 'cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get close ooh ooh ooh oh so close ooh ooh ooh i want you close ooh oh i want you close and close ain't close enough
i am not really known for ever being speechless but now but now somehow my words roll off my tongue right onto your lips oh i'm keeping cool while you keep smiling saying all the things i'm thinking oh man oh man i am like you so i want proof of what you're feeling 'cause if i want you and i want you babe ain't going backwards won't ask for space 'cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get too close ooh ooh ooh oh so close ooh ooh ooh i want you close ooh ooh ooh 'cause space was just a word made up by someone
close ooh ooh ooh oh so close ooh ooh ooh i want you close ooh ooh ooh oh i want you close and close ain't close enough no 'cause if i want you and i want you babe ain't going backwards won't ask for space 'cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get too close close ooh ooh ooh oh so close ooh ooh ooh i want you close ooh ooh ooh 'cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get close ooh ooh ooh oh so close ooh ooh ooh i want you close
so let's drink before goodbye i got a bottle i've been saving it i thought we'd drink it on that day we were the opposite of breaking up i can't believe i'm losing you we just opened up too soon we got champagne problems only one way to solve 'em raising our glass 'cause it's our last with these champagne problems just keep on keep on drinking keep on keep on drinking just keep on keep on how did our clothes end up all on the floor didn't we just break each other's hearts didn't you have one
better to fall in love this has "nightline." >> tonight the doctor who's broadcasting his procedures almost instantaneously. >> that was the rest of your sunday. as his clients are under the knife. >> do cameras in the operating room encourage transparency or distraction. plus, book lovers. all about the front cover. the shirtless show down, the next faub owe. >> and does this bring you down memory lane? >> it's been 25 years since the road trip film soared into movie history. it's famous for launching this face. guess who didn't get the part. first, the "nightline" five. >> it is so important for us to look good at work. and we work hard for our money.